Does anyone else feel like love won’t find them not because they’re unlovable, but because they want something too real?

I don’t even know where to begin but lately, I’ve been hit with this weird, sinking feeling that maybe love (the kind I want) just isn’t going to happen for me. And I don’t mean that in a bitter, “I give up” way. It’s more like a quiet grief that sits in my chest as I walk past couples holding hands or laughing in cafés.

Sometimes I look at them and wonder, are you happy? Or did you just settle before the loneliness got too loud?

I don’t mean to sound judgmental like I get it. It’s hard out here. And part of me wishes I was like that. I wish I could want something surface level pretty, or at least be able to convince myself it’s enough. But I know I’d still feel that hollow ache after the novelty wears off.

Because what I want is that kind of love where you don’t have to shrink yourself. Where someone sees you when the mask slips the raw, weird, tender parts and they don’t flinch. A love that holds your hand when life drains out of your eyes and just stays.

I don’t want fireworks. I want depth. I want someone who doesn’t get scared when things get too real.

And maybe that’s where I went wrong. Maybe I ask for too much. Maybe I feel too much. But how do I stop wanting it?

Please I need to know I’m not alone in feeling this way.