Does anyone else feel like they’ll never find love ? How do you deal with it ?

Hey everyone, This is my little rent of the night, to express what I’ve been feeling lately, but I also feel like a lot of people feel like this and I honestly wanna share, hear others, and maybe hear some strangers’ insight.

I’ve always been a loner, Ive dealt with selective mutism as a child which translated into introversion in my teen years and early adulthood.

Today, I’m 25. Before I started dating, at 23, I didn’t care much about romance. But when I met my first love, who broke my trust and honestly my heart, I became a true romantic and started wondering why it’s so hard for me to find.

I do get attention, for my looks or whatever. I thought this was good enough for a slight moment, until I gave so many people their chance, and realized I was only lusted over. I tried to give my all to everyone coming into my life, to share the love I truly wanna give to other human beings, and it always turns out that it is taken for granted, that the end goal of my partners always is physical intimacy, the comfort of my care and compliments, and nothing more.

Right now, I’m actually dating someone. He was so excited about me when he met me, and I felt like I could be myself. It was a form of passion I had never experienced, and it all seemed so sweet, caring, romantic. Not that he’s a bad person, but lately it has been feeling off, he doesn’t show the same affection, and it yet again seems like it’s because at the end of the day, what really got him excited about me was my body. And I find it so disappointing, because I thought I could finally share something with someone, and given this sudden distance, I can’t be myself with him anymore and have gotten back to being introverted and guarded…

At this point, I’m facing this reality with deep disappointment, but I’ve decided I’m gonna keep sharing love in other ways. Through building friendships, being kind to strangers, to myself, to nature, by doing my job that I love well, I don’t know. I think there are so many forms of love, and that love is never lost.

But deep down, I do wanna be cared for. I do wanna be loved back, in a romantic way. I do want someone to be deeply curious about me, excited to feel what I can give them, excited to give me the same amount back. And no matter what, no one has ever considered me that way.

I’ve tried looking at myself, going to therapy to see what could be wrong. I’m not perfect of course, but there’s nothing in my behavior nor my appearance that seems to cause an issue. I’m driven, I think I’m kind, I look for deep relationships, I’m faithful as soon as I start building something with someone, I care, I listen. Sometimes, I get back to being introverted, but that’s only when I feel like the other person doesn’t show enough interest. I do have imperfections of course, but everyone does and yet I could find something beautiful in every person I’ve tried dating. I do always question myself, but nothing seems to be enough.

As for the feedback I got from people I’ve dated, it was always that I was a sweet person, that I was very smart, that people can talk to me about anything, that I’m very honest and upfront, that I’m exciting and sensual… For the guys that left, it was that I was « too good for them », which is probably not true. For my ex, it was that too, which he must have said to reassure me, because he then confessed that what we had was not enough for him, despite me being « what every man dreams of ».

So I don’t understand what’s happening, what I’m doing wrong, why no one ever falls in love with me and only gets excited at the very beginning. And I don’t know if I’m the only one in that situation. Because yes, I’m not perfect, but no one is, yet so many people find their person. So why is that ? It’s a bit lonely when you try and try, and get nowhere in that field of life.