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Why Your Conflict Resolution Training Continues to Falling Short: A Brutal Truth

 

The Dispute Management Illusion That's Undermining Your Organization: How "Win-Win" Outcomes Often Cause Greater Issues Than They Resolve

 

 

I'm about to attack one of the biggest cherished beliefs in modern mediation training: the concept that all business disagreement can and should be resolved through "collaborative" approaches.

 

 

Such approach sounds progressive and caring, but following over a decade of working in organizational development, I can tell you it's usually utter garbage that causes additional issues than it solves.

 

 

Here's the core problem with the "win-win" obsession: it assumes that all disputes involve misunderstandings or conflicting needs that can be cleverly harmonized if individuals just dialogue enough.

 

 

In the real world, many workplace conflicts concern legitimate, irreconcilable oppositions in goals, valid contests for finite positions, or circumstances where certain people actually must to win and another party must to fail.

 

 

The team worked with a major creative company where the design team and the account management department were in constant disagreement about campaign approach.

 

 

Creative teams wanted to develop cutting-edge, impressive work that would enhance their creative standing. Client services teams needed solutions that would satisfy risk-averse customers and protect ongoing client partnerships.

 

 

Each sides had totally reasonable objectives. Both perspectives were essential for the agency's growth.

 

 

Executives brought in a group of mediation consultants who spent months facilitating "joint solution-finding" sessions.

 

 

Those meetings generated elaborate "mutually beneficial" approaches that looked comprehensive on in theory but were completely unrealistic in actual implementation.

 

 

For instance, they designed systems where each client work would magically integrate "creative standards" with "customer approval." These experts created complex evaluation criteria and decision-making processes intended to guarantee that each stakeholder's priorities were included.

 

 

The outcome: decision-making timelines that took significantly longer than previously, innovative work that was mediocre to the point of being forgettable, and clients who were confused by inconsistent messaging about campaign approach.

 

 

All departments were even more dissatisfied than before because neither side was receiving what they genuinely wanted to do their jobs effectively.

 

 

When six months of this nonsense, the team convinced executives to scrap the "win-win" strategy and create what I call "Strategic Choice Making."

 

 

Rather than attempting to assume that each project could simultaneously meet competing goals, they created clear guidelines for choosing when artistic quality would get focus and when customer relationships would be the main concern.

 

 

For high-profile clients where the agency needed to protect established partnerships, customer preferences would receive focus.

 

 

Regarding experimental accounts or charity work, innovative teams would have increased freedom to pursue experimental concepts.

 

 

For new recognition competitions, artistic innovation would be the primary criterion.

 

 

Both departments knew exactly what the priorities were for each campaign, what criteria would influence decisions, and what trade-offs were being chosen.

 

 

Conflict between the groups virtually ended. Each teams could concentrate on performing what they did professionally rather than endlessly fighting about direction.

 

 

Account retention increased because client services people could honestly explain campaign approach and expectations. Artistic innovation improved on appropriate campaigns because creative staff had clear authority to create innovative approaches.

 

 

That insight: attempting to create "mutually beneficial" outcomes for fundamentally conflicting objectives frequently results in "everybody loses" results where no one gets what they really want.

 

 

Better to be honest about priorities and make deliberate, thoughtful choices about when various goals will receive priority.

 

 

Let me share one more example of how the "mutual benefit" fixation creates problems. We consulted with a technology engineering company where lead developers and junior team members were in continuous disagreement about work allocation.

 

 

Senior developers insisted on concentrating on challenging, important projects that would enhance their skills and increase their professional standing.

 

 

New staff needed exposure to challenging work to develop their skills and advance their capabilities.

 

 

Scarce amounts of complex opportunities meant that providing more access to junior people necessarily meant fewer opportunities for established staff.

 

 

Supervision hired organizational development specialists who used extensive time working to create "innovative" arrangements that would somehow fulfill all parties' career needs.

 

 

These experts created complex approaches for "joint work responsibility," "development partnerships," and "expertise exchange opportunities."

 

 

Zero of these systems fixed the core reality: there were simply not enough high-level projects for all parties to get everything they needed.

 

 

This consequence: increased confusion in assignment management, inefficient decision-making, and continued conflict from all parties.

 

 

I worked with them implement a clear, skills-based process for project allocation:

 

 

Experienced roles on challenging work would be allocated based on proven performance and track record

 

 

Junior team members would be assigned designated learning opportunities intended to enhance their capabilities methodically

 

 

Specific criteria and timelines were established for advancement from beginning to senior roles

 

 

Every staff were clear about precisely what they had to achieve to qualify for higher-level levels of assignment opportunities

 

 

Disagreement among different groups nearly ended. New employees could focus on meeting defined development objectives rather than competing for insufficient access. Senior staff could concentrate on challenging assignments without constantly justifying their claim to these opportunities.

 

 

Output and quality improved significantly across all skill groups.

 

 

The point: transparent, merit-based distribution often produces superior solutions than elaborate "mutual benefit" solutions that try to eliminate legitimate trade-offs.

 

 

Currently let's discuss perhaps the greatest dangerous element of the "mutual benefit" fixation: how it protects poor behavior and undermines company expectations.

 

 

The team worked with a municipal organization where one unit was consistently not achieving performance standards, producing inadequate work, and causing issues for related units that depended on their work.

 

 

Once affected units raised concerns about these delivery failures, management consistently responded by organizing "joint dialogue" meetings to create "mutually beneficial" solutions.

 

 

These sessions would always conclude in complex "workflow modifications" that fundamentally demanded effective teams to work around the poor performance of the dysfunctional team.

 

 

For instance, instead of requiring the underperforming unit to achieve required timelines, the "win-win" arrangement would be to extend every delivery schedules to accommodate their inadequate performance.

 

 

Rather than expecting them to enhance their quality levels, affected departments would be required to offer additional quality control, help, and improvements to account for their poor work.

 

 

That approach was remarkably unfair to productive employees and actively rewarded poor performance.

 

 

Worse, it generated frustration and dissatisfaction among productive staff who experienced that their extra contributions was being unappreciated while inadequate employees were being protected from consequences.

 

 

The team convinced management to scrap the "mutual benefit" charade and implement clear accountability expectations.

 

 

They created clear quality standards for each departments, with definite accountability measures for repeated refusal to reach these requirements.

 

 

Their problematic team was offered clear support and a adequate timeframe to fix their performance. After they refused to reach the established improvements, appropriate management decisions were implemented.

 

 

Their change was dramatic. Total performance improved significantly, interdepartmental disputes virtually disappeared, and staff morale for good performers increased significantly.

 

 

That point: real "organizational success" outcomes result from enforcing high standards for everyone, not from lowering expectations to protect substandard behavior.

 

 

Let me share what I've concluded after decades of observing companies struggle with counterproductive "win-win" philosophies:

 

 

Successful dispute management needs managers who are willing to make difficult choices, establish firm standards, and acknowledge that not all parties can get all they prefer.

 

 

Frequently the most effective outcome is for certain people to get what they need and someone else to accept less. Sometimes the most effective solution is to get rid of elements who are refusing to perform productively within reasonable parameters.

 

 

Furthermore sometimes the right approach is to acknowledge that specific conflicts represent basic differences in values that will not be resolved through dialogue.

 

 

Quit attempting to manufacture "collaborative" solutions where they shouldn't work. Focus on building organizations with transparent expectations, equitable accountability, and the leadership to make appropriate choices when cooperative approaches cannot be sufficient.

 

 

The business - and your best employees - need nothing accommodation.

 

 

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