I am totally sexually inexperienced at 30(F) and its getting difficult

I just turned 30. I did a fair amount of modeling in my 20s and contrary to the popular belief I did not have a high self esteem or confidence. Imaagine getting your body analysed and judged as the part of your job, being criticised for every little thing. I ended this career recently. Due to this self esteem issues I never dated seriously. I never slept with anyone.

And now I met someone that am I attracted to enough to make my anxiety easier to handle. He is an airline pilot, mid 30s. I am very much attracted to him. We date and I hesitate to have sex yet, although I do want. I am just not ready. I fear that I will not know what to do, that I will freeze and that it will hurt. I went to my doctor and he checked me down there and said I should be fine because the himenal tissue is very elastic in my case.

The thing is I don’t want to tell him I never done it. I feel awkward. I don’t want him to know. I did tell him that I am inexperienced and want to take things slower. I feel thats all he needs to know. Besides, even if I had been with 10 men before, telling someone to go slower or stuff like that should be something natural.

And my female friends mostly, are telling me I owe him the information so he can reject he doesn’t want this responsability. I feel objectified. I don’t feel its a responsability, I am not a kid, I don’t need special treatment. I just want to be intimate with him without telling him I never done it. I said I am inexperienced and want to take it slow. But they push me to tell him and even are mean to me (real life friends and even internet strangers), say stuff like :Admit, it is very weird and he will def look out for red flags or that I owe him also the information why I never did it until now. But do I? The other way around, if I had 15 behind, they would say its none of his business.