She broke my heart

I (23M) recently had a long-distance connection with a girl (21F) that turned into the deepest emotional experience I’ve ever had. We met online. From the start, we clicked in a way that felt rare. She told me I had beautiful eyes and couldn’t stop looking at my picture, just like i couldn’t at hers. She saved my photo in snapchat. I even drew her for two days to surprise her with something personal.

It wasn’t just flirtation, we supported each other emotionally. When she had the flu, I constantly checked in and gave her advice like I was her boyfriend already. When I had my tinitus problem, she was genuinely worried and asked if I was okay. She once told me she hugged her pillow and imagined it was me. It felt intimate, deep, even spiritual.

But as time passed, I noticed her slowly fading. She avoided video calls. Took longer to reply. Stopped sending snaps. Eventually, she told me she was overwhelmed with anxiety, on medication, couldn’t eat, hated what she was doing in college, and felt like she had nothing to give. She said it wasn’t my fault, just that she couldn’t handle a relationship in her current state. But I felt now is when i’d like to be there for her the most. Then… she unsaved the photo I sent her and the drawing I made. Just like that, piece by piece, she erased everything we had together.

She broke my heart, not in one moment, but gradually. Every day, I kept trying. I held on to hope.

Now I’m left grieving something that never fully became real, but felt more real than anything I’ve had. I would have loved her like no one had.

I know she’s struggling. I know she didn’t mean to hurt me. But damn… it hurts. She didn’t give me closure, she just erased me.

I spent a month trying to meet someone on dating apps and when I did, the result made me ever lonelier and heartbroken then ever before. Now I deleted everything and trying to move on.