Stop dating for potential. Start dating for presence.

We fall in love with who someone could be with the vibes, the chemistry, the aesthetic, the flirty banter. But potential is just fantasy. What matters is who that person shows up as, consistently, in real time. Are they emotionally available right now? Do they communicate with care now? Do your values align today? not hypothetically someday?

When I started showing up as my full self, not my curated dating profile, I attracted people who were emotionally ready too. I stopped wasting time analyzing mixed signals and started asking real questions early: • “What does love look like to you?” • “How do you handle conflict?” • “What’s something you’re working on emotionally?”

You learn a lot from honesty. Especially your own.

Here’s some advice if you’re feeling jaded: • Don’t chase closure. Watch patterns. • You’re not “too much.” You’re just not in front of someone brave enough to hold space. • Don’t audition for affection. Instead observe who shows up when you stop performing. • Stop ghosting people. Say what you mean. Model the energy you want to receive. • Swipe less. Get intentional more. Ask yourself: Am I dating from wholeness or loneliness?

The truth is: love still exists. Deep, soulful, “holy shit, I feel safe here” love still exists. But you won’t find it playing shallow games with people who aren’t even looking in the same direction as you.

Be courageous. Be real. Be clear. And watch what happens when you stop settling for almost.