Why Does Showing Interest Push People Away?

So, I don’t know if I’m going crazy or if this is something that’s actually happening more frequently (at least in Brazil – my home country), but my mind simply can’t grasp this dynamic

I’ve been feeling like we currently live in a very superficial society that fosters many momentary relationships. Having honest conversations is becoming rare, genuinely expressing your feelings and truly being heard, instead of receiving superficial responses like “k” or “damn”, seems nearly impossible

However, what’s really caught my attention lately, both in my experiences and conversations with friends, is the impression that the more someone shows they care about another person, the more the other seems to pull away or care less

In my case, I’ve gone out with a few guys and always treated them very well (at least I hope so, I try my best 😅). I don’t like creating pointless arguments, I prefer being direct and honest about what I want and how I feel. If something bothers me, I sit down and discuss it. I make a point to understand whether it’s just my perception or if there’s really something that needs to be addressed. I believe it’s essential to have this honest and open exchange, as a healthy relationship requires balance and transparency (not only romantic relationships but also friendship!!)

But it seems the more you show interest, care, affection, or become more “clingy,” the more the other person distances themselves. It feels like there’s a constant pursuit of people who aren’t emotionally available to the same extent, while those who genuinely show interest in us are treated with the same distance we criticize

Maybe it’s a random thought, but I increasingly feel like we’re attracted precisely to people who don’t show as much interest in us as we would like. I don’t know if this is due to growing superficiality in relationships or reflects a generalized fear of serious commitment, but it’s something that’s been bothering me a lot

Does anyone here relate or have any insight on this? What’s your opinion?

Wanna hear your thoughts!!

Kisses from 🇧🇷